I Found My Lobster
A ‘Lobster’ is a person who is meant to be with someone forever. The term originated due to the fact that Lobsters mate for life. At least, according to Phoebe. No one can deny, that F.R.I.E.N.D.S is not just a sitcom but a significant part of our lives. Everyone can relate to the characters of F.R.I.E.N.D.S, and at some point in our lives, we have all been influenced by them.
I was in my 1st year of college when I watched the show for the very first time. I loved all the characters equally but liked Rachel just that little bit more. Her screen presence always amused me; I admired her attitude and sense of fashion. But it was Phoebe’s words left me deep in thought one day- when she mentioned that Rachel and Ross are each others’ Lobsters. I began thinking if I was ever going to find my Lobster.
It all began in February 2015. I was introduced to a boy through my friends. He was your regular boy, not the kind girls usually dreamt of being with. He was not tall, dark or handsome nor did he have a very impressive physique. But, there was something about his smile which made my heart beat a little faster. I was from Delhi and he was from Jaipur, so there was really no scope of seeing him again after that day. Yet, I started thinking about him all the time. I had never felt this way ever before. I never stalked him on social media because I was always afraid, what if he already had his Lobster? I never wanted to come out of the fantasy world that I had created with him.
We never got a chance to exchange numbers, so there was no way that he could text me, but I still checked my phone every so often in the hope of receiving a message from him. I was not even sure if he wanted to message me. But then one fine day, I received a message from an unknown number that just said “Hi”. I prayed to God that it would be him. Surprisingly, it was. I was shocked and excited at the same time. From that moment on, we started chit-chatting about sweet nothings, but not regularly. I was acting very pricey and maybe he was too!
I was working on a venture with the friends who had introduced me to him. I met these friends every day. There were a few days when I didn’t meet them because I was out of town on a short family trip. The day I came back and went to meet my friends, I was amazed to see the guy who I had hoped was my Lobster. I was surprised to see him because on the same day we had engaged in a short conversation, but he never mentioned to me that he was in town. There were so many thoughts swirling around in my head. I was wondering why he never mentioned this.
I was apprehensive- did he not want to meet me or was this because he wanted to surprise me? I was confused. He always gave me mixed signals. Somehow, he managed to get my number, but never showed any romantic interest in me. Then I told myself to stop over-thinking. He was there for only a day. The only conversation we had that day was greeting each other casually. However, I couldn’t help but gaze at him the whole day. At times, he caught me gazing and sometimes I caught him gazing too. I still remember that smile on his face every time I caught him.
Days passed, but slowly and gradually our irregular short conversations grew into regular long conversations. We would speak about our day, family, interests, future plans and a lot more. He still did not initiate a conversation where I could sense that he felt the same way I felt about him. One night, when we were talking to each other, he tricked me into confessing my feelings for him. And luckily for me, he felt the same way. I don’t remember clearly what happened that night, but I know that the next morning I woke up with a big smile on my face. I was in love, and in a very complicated situation, which is popularly known as ‘a long-distance relationship’. We decided not to disclose this to anyone till the time we were sure about our situation.
My dad is a big believer in astrology, so I grew up with the belief that I can’t have a love marriage. Although I grew up in a time when relationships were common, I am old school when it comes to love. I always thought if it’s not for life, then what’s the point of getting into a relationship. But this time it was different. Everything felt so right and perfect.
After a few days, he travelled to meet me. Finally, we were meeting! We saw each other for exactly 10 minutes. Strangely, for two people who talk non-stop for hours over call, we were clueless about what to say now. Our 10 minutes passed gazing at each other. After a month, I was travelling to Malaysia with my colleagues. Guess what, he was also travelling with us! We were to be in Malaysia for a week. I thought maybe this was our chance to take out some time for just the two of us. We tried but it was impossible. We didn’t get a chance to spend time together because we were always occupied with our colleagues, who thought we hardly knew each other. And we were not even ready to disclose anything just yet.
All this was becoming tough. We tried our best to maintain the relationship, without meeting each other. Eventually, after trying for 6 months, he thought it was not working out. I agreed, but it wasn’t easy. I decided to cut him off completely from my life. I removed him from all my social networking sites and even changed my contact number.
In January 2016, I shifted to Mumbai for work. I am an aspiring filmmaker and making films is my first love. I was so occupied with work that I hardly got a chance to think about him anymore. A few months later at 4 am, I received a Facebook message from him, asking me to guess where he was. I was looking at his message and wondering why he was engaging in conversation with me after all these days. Then I received another message saying that he was in Malaysia in the same hotel where we were, exactly a year ago. I still had no clue what to say. Then I received one more message asking me my new number since he figured I had changed it. Cluelessly, I ended up sharing my number, without saying anything else. He said that he will call me once he is back in India.
Days passed, and again I got occupied with my work and never received a call from him. One day, when I was sitting in my office, I received a call from him. I was quite busy so I told him that I will give him a call later. His sad voice forced me to talk to him on the same call. I went out of the office to talk. When I inquired what was wrong, he told me that his father whom he loved more than anything in the world, was diagnosed with blood cancer. My heart sank, but I gave him some strength and told him not to lose his faith and hope. I started talking to him regularly because I knew he was not doing great. Fifteen days later, I received a message that he lost his father. I was in tears, I wanted nothing more than to be with him that day. I continued to talk to him for a few more days. The day I thought he was doing relatively okay, I started distancing myself once again.
Months passed, and I didn’t hear from him. Then one day, when I was in a meeting with my team regarding final preparation for a shoot we were starting the very next day in Kerala, I got a call from an unknown number. I ignored it. The caller didn’t budge, so I had to answer. It was him. Without giving it any thought, I told him that I will call him back later. That meeting took really long. After getting done, I rushed home to get my packing done as I was supposed to be on a flight to Kerala in a few hours. While I was occupied with all of this, I got one more call from him. I answered the call. He asked me how was I doing. I was so tired of trying to avoid him that this time I clearly told him not to call me again. And he was obedient enough, he never called after that.
My work was going well. I was doing great in general. And most importantly, I had completely overcome my feelings for him. On 26th November 2016, my 23rd birthday, I was celebrating with my family in Delhi. I was having the best time of my life. On my birthday night, my parents told me that they want me to get married. I wasn’t against the idea of an arranged marriage. I told them that they should look for a boy, but to make sure that the boy and his family are not against the idea of me working in the film industry. After the holidays got over, I went back to the show business.
My mobile suddenly developed a very unique feature. It started dialling any number at any time of the day on its own.
On 23rd December 2016, at around 11 pm, I received a call from him. This time I was at ease. I got to know that my handset decided to call him this time and when he answered the call, he couldn’t hear anything. We laughed about it. We had a normal conversation about how he had been and how my work was going. Then he mentioned my birthday, which he obviously missed. I told him that my family is looking for a suitable boy for me. Without hesitating even for a moment, he said something which was very shocking. He asked me to get married to him rather than getting married to a stranger. I thought he was joking and I just laughed it off. On the evening of 25th December, while I was getting ready for a Christmas party, I got a call from him. I told him that I am getting ready and will call him back, but he insisted to be on the call for a few minutes. The same moment my house bell rang. I went to the door to check who was it. There was a delivery boy with a big bouquet of roses, a few chocolates and a card asking “will you marry me?”.
Although it was cheesy, I found it cute. And I was amazed at how he managed to get my address. I was so confused. We had hardly met, we didn’t even know each other properly, how can we just decide to get married? I told him, I wanted to meet him in person before finalizing anything. On 2nd January 2017, I travelled to Jaipur from Mumbai for a day. The moment I saw him at the airport, I realised that I had found my Lobster. That was the first time we were actually together but it seemed as if we had been together for ages. I know it sounds clichéd but it’s true. After coming back to Mumbai, I decided to disclose it to my parents.
On 12th March 2017, I went to Delhi to celebrate Holi with my family. I told them that I have found the one I wanted to get married to. It was not as difficult as I thought it would be, to convince them. On 24th November 2017, I got married to my Lobster. Today after being married for 2.5 years, I can confirm that Phoebe was right – Lobsters are meant to be together forever.