Kindness and Forgiveness Enhance Relationships
Our relationships are profoundly enhanced through kindness and forgiveness. I am saying this based on the story of one of my client’s I recently worked with. In fact, I was composing something else for this week’s article, and around the same time, a beautiful soul named Tania approached me for the energy healing sessions. I began working on her and with every session (remote healing though) I could clearly see the layers and layers of hidden emotions getting cleared up and I was so besotted with the change that I decided to write and share my close observation of the power of kindness and forgiveness that altered her life drastically. Because of the overflow of mental and emotional baggage, her life was all over the place, her physical body was frail. She told me over the phone that she feels caged in her own body and the medical name for the condition is “Auto-Immune Disorder”.
She was petrified because according to the doctors this disease has no cure. That’s when she started researching on her own to find a way to heal herself and she discovered that by using alternative healing methods, she can cure the illness. As they say, “when the desire to attain something is strong enough, the universe also conspires to make it happen.”
We spoke for over an hour and I was ready to take up her case. The only thing I told her was, “Tania, everything is energy. If energy is everything then there is nothing that we are not. We have the power to manifest by directing and channeling the energy in the right direction. Always remember, the energy goes wherever we direct it. Just know that presently, the flow of energy is sluggish and we have to get it moving by removing the blocks hidden deep within you, and the blocks are your beliefs and emotions.” I further stated, “The first step is to identify and second is taking accountability and after acceptance, you will be unstoppable, and victory will be yours. This journey won’t be simple but you be truthful and keep standing in your honesty.” She paid attention to me and very enthusiastically said yes.
However, her progress was quite rapid and magical, that is because of her desire. The mindset and the desire to heal and recoup influence the healing process. By the second week, there was an enormous shift in her emotional and mental state of being which clearly reflected in her physical body also. The procedure of healing that I created for her strongly made me believe in the fact that healing transpires when kindness/mercy and forgiveness are in sync with each other!
This saga by and of the woman who was “allergic” to her in-law’s attitude, made it apparent to me that the remedy to tough associations is the transmutative action of love. There’s clearly nothing that distinguishes to the full outcome it can bring. Three weeks of back to back sessions in all and the shift in her was profound. On my three weeks journey with her, I clearly witnessed that how kindness and forgiveness helped her heal and transform her relationship with her parents-in-law.
I learned that extending mercy/kindness and forgiveness encompasses an act of love that dominated the longing to be right or to be understood well by our peers and partners or our community. Our intention to love must be greater than any other desire. When you arrive at that point, forgiveness becomes the alchemy of metamorphosis. You acknowledge that if someone wronged you, they are unhappy and dissatisfied at some level of their life for their unfair actions. Your heart upswings in compassion, and you send the gifts of mercy, love, and forgiveness from your heart to that person. Love changes the cause and essence of the problem, and when you see that person again, you have no reminiscence of any irritation, agony, or prior wrong actions. All you see is light, light, light, and the joy of restored relationship and harmony.
So forgiveness is an extraordinary experience. It’s the path to perseverance. And you realize that as you start to love every part of life, particularly those you have harmed or offended, and those who have wronged you; an even more strong feeling to love wells up within you.
The abundance of forgiveness upswings as we forgive ourselves. It’s so significant to know that we aren’t here to polish the mortal part of ourselves. We are here to untangle our own inner excellence and the full ability of our spiritual self. And yet all of us are human, and we’ve all committed things we’re not pretentious of. Irrespective of what errors we have made, we were doing the best we could at the time. Sometimes it wasn’t the apt and precise way, but that is the process of learning—exercising our free will, making blunders, and eventually coming out on top. Trial and error are the means of the infinite alchemist, the one who attempts over and over again in quest of a bigger goal. So an error is sought to stimulate us to move upward and forward, and we understand from and rejoice the lesson that has enabled us to prosper. We may notice a slight holding back from completely forgiving ourselves. There are times when we may say, “I wish this had never been. I wish I could have stopped myself from doing that. I wish I had never asked for this.” Rather than criticizing ourselves for our weaknesses and missteps, we can decide to do better next time.
If we accuse ourselves even a tiny bit, it’s like creating a hole in a jar. The water gradually but certainly leaks out. No matter how much water we put in the jar, it will not remain full. That’s what happens to our strength when we give permission to anything or anyone, including ourselves, to blame us so that we believe we are not worthy of being forgiven, we don’t deserve to be loved. Our spirit is worthy of love and forgiveness.
Whether or not you recall your prior karmas and errors you made in the past life, with genuine mercy, forgive yourself for the mistakes. If you truly forgive yourself, you instill a magnet of compassion and forgiveness in your heart. When you earn and accept forgiveness, something is held up, some amount of the weight of karma, the weight of the incorrect act itself. Therefore forgiveness is a vital part of equalizing karma and settling the challenges we undergo in relationships.
As we give out forgiveness, the universe sprinkles it back to us. When you forgive yourself, you will start feeling waves of forgiveness in your life and you’ll be wrapped in the contentment of forgiveness. You will also see the wonder of God and reckon that He loves you so much that even though He knows everything you’ve always done, He pardons you anyway. And that’s the moment when you are most capable of forgiving those who have done wrong with/to you the most—when you realize how much God forgives you, and how much you love him. There’s ample of love to spare so that you can give umpteen love to the soul you thought was your foe or somebody who caused you troubles in your life.
We can look at the people we are connected to in our jobs, homes, colleges, and everything that impresses us. Most of us have tough people in our lives or problematic relationships in which we get angry or just can’t sanctify life and be free. The biggest sovereignty I have attained so far is the skill to forgive myself and forgive all people earnestly, deeply, and with the entirety of my being (at least I feel that I have come a long way in forgiving others and myself).