The wall of frozen moments haunted me. It didn’t help that the fairylights added a more sentimental value to it. Why, why did everything about us have to be so clichéd?
It had been years and nothing had changed except us and the distance between us. There was still an enormous amount of angst in that distance between us, something from the past that I wasn’t particularly keen on revisiting in the future. I wanted to run, I didn’t want to be here, this wasn’t something I was prepared for. It amused me that I still felt capable of reading his eyes. That I still felt bare with him in front of me.
We edged forward, attempting some small talk, all the while distracted by the walls. One thing led to another, we yelled at each other, hurled accusations along with other things. But suddenly, it had ceased. We lay side by side, hugging. Crying. And saying all the things that were always left unsaid. This new development gave me some amount of relief and that scared me. Eventually, I decided to bask in the warm glow of the moment and deal with everything else when morning came.
We cried, we laughed, we drank some old bottles of wine and talked about old times, happier times. We played loud music and danced, all the while smiling at one another. I had missed this, my heart had yearned for this for months until I forced the feeling away. This used to be us. This raw, pure and unlimited friendship used to be us for majority of our lives. And then it was all gone.
When morning came, my head was filled with regret. I looked at him and I sensed it from him too. We left that day, without a word. Going away on our separate paths to our very different lives. But not before I caught a glimpse of his eyes, moist and emotional. As I turned away and looked at myself in the mirror, I saw the silent tears streaming down my face. But nobody could help us now, we were gone. We’d always been gone. And that night had never happened.
Written by Sumedha Biswas