Every year as I change the page of my calendar on my desk, it takes me back 16 years! Then I open my diary and look at this card, the date was 9th December 2004, I was going to attend my best friend’s wedding, a Christian wedding and I felt ecstatic as I was going to be her bridesmaid! Life has its own plan; some things are meant to happen but aren’t meant to be! It so happened, that I got hitched just five days before her wedding, and this led to a paradigm shift in my thoughts.
I was going through mixed emotions and there was a flurry of activity in the family, the dates were finalized, the venue was shortlisted, I was told to inform my office, plan my leaves. There were now few apprehensions from my family and I was myself in a dilemma whether to travel or not! I felt overwhelmed and perplexed, and in confusion/on impulse/under family pressure I cancelled my plans to go. The next day I called my friend and shared the news, she was happy for me but was very annoyed, she briefly expressed her disappointment and left the decision to me.
That night was very difficult but the next morning the hustle and bustle started which overshadowed my feelings. I called to wish her on her special day but I found her distant in the brief conversation we had. I said a silent prayer and convinced myself she will surely understand, that time is the best healer. She on the other hand was hurt and the communication between us came to a halt. Days passed, months passed but this guilt never left me, I missed my friend and made innumerable attempts to get in touch with her. After many trials, one day she broke her silence, she described how abandoned and desolated she felt, there were issues she had to deal with and how she wished I was there when she needed me the most, I was bewildered, choked, ashamed and remorseful.
A deep sense of guilt engulfed me and I was scared to lose my friend but I resolved to bring her back in my life! With grit and determination I kept calling her incessantly and apologized in all possible ways, and suddenly one day I called her when she was dealing with something critical in her life and was a little shaken, I begged her to share, and it was as if we were back to our good old days. Towards the end of the call, I felt listening to her made a lot of difference. That was the day I got my friend back in my life and was so grateful to God! Though I still regret my decision every year when I wish her on her anniversary but this experience made me realize “All beautiful relationships do not depend on how well we understand someone, but it depends on how well we manage the misunderstanding.”
Written by Ina Anand